Thecuy, saat ada teman yang sedang bersedih dan membagikan keluhnya kepada kita, respons pertama kita mungkin adalah ingin menenangkannya. Tapi terkadang, pilihan kata yang kurang tepat justru membuat teman merasa tidak didengar dan semakin jatuh ke dalam kesedihan.
Kenyataannya, kamu mungkin sering merasa bingung harus bilang apa agar teman merasa nyaman ketika sedang curhat denganmu. Tenang, kamu nggak sendiri, Thecuy. Kadang sulit untuk tahu harus bilang apa, kamu mungkin takut salah bicara dan terkesan meremehkan perasaan dan pengalaman mereka, padahal maksudmu adalah ingin membantu.
Menurut psikolog klinis Dr. Jaime Zuckerman, sebenarnya tidak perlu kata-kata rumit, Thecuy. Ada satu kalimat sederhana yang bisa membuat teman merasa tenang ketika mendengarnya. Kalimat ini juga membuat mereka merasa tidak hanya didengar, tapi juga dipahami.
Yuk, cari tahu kalimatnya berikut ini!
<section id="section-detail-2" class="multi-card " data-page="2" data-page-title="Kalimat yang Bikin Orang Merasa Nyaman dan Didengar Menurut Psikolog" dtr-evt="halaman selanjutnya" dtr-sec="halaman selanjutnya" dtr-act="tombol halaman selanjutnya" dtr-id="324363" dtr-ttl="Kalimat yang Bikin Orang Merasa Nyaman dan Didengar Menurut Psikolog" onclick="_pt(this)" readability="33.5">
<h2 class="fw-bold fs-5">Phrase that makes people feel comfortable and heard, according to a psychologist</h2>
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<img src="https://akcdn.detik.net.id/visual/2026/09/16/teman-lagi-sedih-kalimat-ini-bikin-mereka-merasa-nyaman-dan-didengar-menurut-psikolog-1789534549374_169.jpeg?w=700&q=90" alt="Menurut psikolog, ada satu kalimat sederhana yang bisa membuat teman merasa tenang ketika mendengarnya. Kalimat ini juga membuat mereka merasa tidak hanya didengar, tapi juga dipahami." title="Menurut psikolog, ada satu kalimat sederhana yang bisa membuat teman merasa tenang ketika mendengarnya. Kalimat ini juga membuat mereka merasa tidak hanya didengar, tapi juga dipahami."/>
<p>Feeling down? This phrase helps them feel comfortable and heard, says a psychologist / Photo: Pexels.com</p>
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<p>Sometimes, the simplest words can have the biggest emotional impact. Agree, Thecuy? </p>
When someone feels listened to and understood, they tend to feel more at ease and open up to us. According to Dr. Zuckerman, the phrase that can make people feel comfortable and open up to us is, “That makes sense.”
When a friend confides and shares their experience, these two words can validate many things, from their experiences, feelings, to their opinions. The power of this phrase lies in the comfort it provides, offering reassurance that everything will be okay.
Even if we may disagree with what they say, this phrase shows that we understand the reason behind their viewpoint. According to Dr. Zuckerman, this small difference can break down a friend’s defensiveness and make them feel comfortable enough to keep talking.
“That three‑word phrase creates a safe, non‑judgmental space for them to express themselves freely,” she told Parade.
What goes on in our brain when we feel listened to?
Feeling down? This phrase helps them feel comfortable and heard, says a psychologist / Photo: Pexels.com
Being listened to and understood is pleasant and relieving; we feel that we’re not alone and that at least someone understands what we’re going through. But what actually happens in the brain when we feel listened to by others?
When we feel listened to and validated, our brain interprets the experience differently than when we are ignored, criticized, or opposed.
“When someone feels validated, the brain’s response to potential threat or danger decreases; this reduces the risk of emotional reactions such as anger, anxiety, or defensiveness,” Dr. Zuckerman explains.
In addition, we also feel connected to the person who is listening. Human connection can lower levels of stress hormones such as cortisol, while triggering the release of dopamine and oxytocin that signal to the body that we are actually safe.
“On the other hand, when our emotional state is unstable, our ability to think logically and make judgments can decline; we tend to become more impulsive and our problem‑solving abilities decrease,” Dr. Zuckerman continues.
Thus, when we respond to a friend’s confiding with the phrase “What you’re saying makes sense,” we not only acknowledge what they say, but also convey that we understand them. Instead of feeling the need to defend their viewpoint, the other person may feel more comfortable staying open, engaged, and building a connection.
Difference between saying ‘I understand’ and ‘That makes sense’
Feeling down? This phrase helps them feel comfortable and heard, says a psychologist / Photo: Pexels.com
Thecuy, you may have responded to a friend’s story with the phrase, “I understand.” You might have intended to validate their feelings and convey that you understand what they’re going through, even though you’ve never been in their position.
The phrases “I understand” and “that makes sense” may seem similar at first glance. But, according to Dr. Zuckerman, saying “I understand” can make a friend’s feelings feel invalidated. How can that be?
“Although this depends on the context of the conversation, when someone who doesn’t have a similar or matching experience says ‘I understand,’ it can unintentionally make the other person’s feelings feel unacknowledged or invalidated,” Dr. Zuckerman explains. “Such a statement can make their pain or experience feel trivialized or misunderstood.”
In other words, saying “I understand” can sometimes imply that we know exactly what the person is experiencing, even though we haven’t been through it ourselves. That’s where the phrase “That makes sense” comes in, Thecuy.
“In situations like this, simply saying that what they’re conveying—along with the emotions they’re feeling—‘makes sense’ can provide a sense of safety without judgment,” she says.
Saying “That makes sense” keeps the focus on their perspective and feelings without us having to claim we know exactly what their experience was like. It’s a subtle difference, but one that can make someone feel recognized rather than misunderstood when we’re speaking with them.
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<p>(naq/naq)</p>
terimakasih sudah mengunjungi thecuy. 🙂
Saya adalah penulis di thecuy.com, sebuah website yang berfokus membagikan tips keuangan, investasi, dan cara mengelola uang dengan bijak, khususnya untuk pemula yang ingin belajar dari nol.
Melalui thecuy.com, saya ingin membantu pembaca memahami dunia finansial tanpa ribet, dengan bahasa yang sederhana.