Hey Thecuy, have you ever met someone who always says yes to every invitation and request? Asked to hang out on weekends? They always agree. Asked for help suddenly? They never say no.
If all the requests and invitations they agree to are still within their capabilities, meaning they can really do them and want to, maybe it’s not a problem. Well, the problem often arises when they agree because they feel uncomfortable saying no and don’t want to disappoint others, even though they themselves don’t feel comfortable. This is known as people pleaser, Thecuy.
According to psychologist Dr. Michelle Goldman, a people pleaser is someone who always tries to please others. Actually, they know what they want and need, but they put other people’s needs above their own.
“Such individuals often find it difficult to say no and always try to follow others’ wishes,” she told Parade.
Then, what are the personality traits of people who always say “yes” even though they actually don’t want to? Come on, let’s look at the psychologist’s explanation below!
Avoiding Conflict
Facing conflict is indeed unpleasant. But sometimes conflict, which can be resolved healthily, is needed for relationships to grow. For people pleasers who are used to always wanting to please others, conflict is like a nightmare.
“For those who always want to please others, differences of opinion can feel threatening, so they usually try to avoid them as much as possible,” said Dr. Goldman.
“Conflict is considered to make them disliked, argue with friends, or be seen as a difficult person. As a result, they will avoid conflict as much as possible in order to maintain good relationships with others,” he added.
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<h2 class="fw-bold fs-5">Difficulty in Setting Boundaries</h2>
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<img src="https://akcdn.detik.net.id/visual/2026/10/22/7-ciri-kepribadian-orang-yang-selalu-mengucapkan-ya-meskipun-tidak-ingin-menurut-psikolog-1792646540145.jpeg?w=700&q=90" alt="They agree because they feel uncomfortable saying no and don't want to disappoint others, even though they themselves feel uncomfortable. They are people pleasers. Typically they have difficulty setting boundaries, have high empathy, are sensitive to criticism, and depend on external validation." title="They agree because they feel uncomfortable saying no and don't want to disappoint others, even though they themselves feel uncomfortable. They are people pleasers. Typically they have difficulty setting boundaries, have high empathy, are sensitive to criticism, and depend on external validation."/>
<p>7 Ciri Kepribadian Orang yang Selalu Mengucapkan 'Ya' Meskipun Tidak Ingin Menurut Psikolog/Foto: Pexels.com</p>
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<p>Boundaries can protect us, and this is one way to respect and honor ourselves. However, a people pleaser who is used to pleasing others often finds it difficult to set boundaries.</p>
According to psychologist Dr. Brittany McGeehan, Ph.D., people who always try to please others are used to prioritizing other people’s needs above their own. They do this for various reasons, such as wanting to be accepted or recognized.
“As adults, they have difficulty setting and enforcing personal boundaries because they are afraid of being rejected or disapproved of by others,” he added.
High Empathy
People who grow up with a tendency to always want to please others have one positive side that is often overlooked. They tend to have greater empathy and higher emotional awareness towards others.
“Because of their basic nature of always wanting to please others, they tend to be sensitive to other people’s feelings and try to care about them,” said psychologist Dr. Connally Barry, Psy.D.
However, it is also important to respect and honor one’s own feelings.
Relying on External Validation
7 Ciri Kepribadian Orang yang Selalu Mengucapkan ‘Ya’ Meskipun Tidak Ingin Menurut Psikolog/Foto: Pexels.com
The desire to please everyone can make someone constantly seek approval from others. They are highly dependent on external validation.
“This dependence makes it difficult for them to feel confident and sure of their own decisions and actions,” said Dr. McGeehan. “These are the types of people who always follow trends, even though they themselves don’t know what they actually like to wear or do.”
Sensitive to Criticism
Receiving criticism is indeed not easy. But constructive criticism can help us become better people. However, for a people pleaser, even criticism that sounds very gentle and soft can make them very shaken.
“Because of their deep need for recognition and fear of rejection, people who always want to please others tend to consider criticism as something personal,” said Dr. McGeehan.
“They can become very sensitive to any negative feedback and consider it as evidence of shortcomings they believe exist within themselves. As a result, they will feel crushed every time they receive feedback that is not full of support,” he added.
Feeling Insecure in Relationships
7 Ciri Kepribadian Orang yang Selalu Mengucapkan ‘Ya’ Meskipun Tidak Ingin Menurut Psikolog/Foto: Pexels.com
People who always want to please others have the expectation that everyone can like them. But this sounds like something impossible. Human relationships can actually be complicated. Even if we behave well, there may be people who don’t like us, and that’s okay.
In relationships, a people pleaser tends to easily feel insecure. According to Dr. Barry, they are also very sensitive to even the slightest changes in tone of voice or actions of others. These changes can make them feel as if they are being rejected.
Buried Desires
They prioritize fulfilling other people’s expectations more. As a result, they often ignore their own needs and desires.
“As adults, they may have difficulty recognizing or prioritizing their own goals and interests,” explained Dr. McGeehan.
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