Pernah bertemu perempuan yang kelihatannya selalu tenang, mandiri, dan siap menghadapi apa pun? Bisa jadi, kamu melihat seseorang yang memang punya karakter kuat. Namun, ciri perempuan yang pernah melewati banyak hal terkadang muncul dari cara seseorang belajar bertahan menghadapi pengalaman sulit di masa lalu.
Menariknya, pengalaman tersebut tidak selalu terlihat jelas dari luar. Ada perempuan yang justru tampak sangat mandiri. Ada juga yang mudah bereaksi terhadap hal kecil, tetapi tetap tenang ketika menghadapi masalah besar.
Menurut sejumlah psikoterapis dan konselor yang dikutip dari Your Tango, pola seperti ini dapat berkaitan dengan pengalaman masa lalu. Meski begitu, tentu tidak semua perempuan dengan ciri-ciri berikut pernah mengalami trauma. Jadi, jangan buru-buru menyimpulkan hanya dari satu perilaku, ya, Thecuy.
Lantas, seperti apa tanda-tandanya?
<section id="section-detail-2" class="multi-card " data-page="2" data-page-title="Reaksinya Bisa Terlihat Berlebihan untuk Hal Kecil" dtr-evt="halaman selanjutnya" dtr-sec="halaman selanjutnya" dtr-act="tombol halaman selanjutnya" dtr-id="324934" dtr-ttl="Reaksinya Bisa Terlihat Berlebihan untuk Hal Kecil" onclick="_pt(this)" readability="25">
<h2 class="fw-bold fs-5">Her response may appear exaggerated over trivial matters</h2>
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<img src="https://akcdn.detik.net.id/visual/2026/09/25/reaksinya-berlebihanfoto-magnific-1790588316375.jpeg?w=700&q=90" alt title/>
<p>Her reaction appears extreme/Photo: Magnific</p>
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<p>Ever notice someone suddenly getting upset over something you consider trivial? On the other hand, when facing a major problem, they appear very calm. This pattern can be confusing for those around them.</p>
According to psychotherapist Ilene Strauss Cohen, people who tend to overreact to small things may have specific triggers from past experiences. These triggers can bring up intense fear, anxiety, or stress in unexpected situations.
For instance, a simple remark can remind someone of an unpleasant experience. Their body and emotions then react as if facing a bigger threat.
This can also be linked to unmet childhood needs or specific difficult experiences. For women carrying many burdens, such emotional responses can become a way for the body to cope with something familiar. However, others may not know the story behind it.
Appears Far More Mature Than Her Age
Appears More Mature/Photo: Magnific
There is a type of woman who has been used to handling everything on her own since long ago. While other friends can still ask for help, she is already accustomed to finding solutions without much complaint.
At first glance, this trait appears to be maturity. However, according to Jessica MacNair, a licensed professional counselor, traumatic experiences in children can cause them to learn to avoid threats early on.
This condition can also be related to parentification, where a child takes on responsibilities that should be the duty of parents or caregivers.
As a result, a child may become accustomed to being an adult before their time. This habit can then carry over into adulthood.
Having Difficulty Asking For and Accepting Help
Struggles to Accept and Ask for Help/Photo: Magnific
“Let me handle it myself.” This simple phrase may sound ordinary. However, for some women, doing everything on their own has become a habit that is hard to let go of.
According to experts from Grouport Therapy, trauma survivors and individuals who have experienced many difficult situations can develop a highly independent mindset to protect themselves. They feel safer when their needs are not dependent on others.
The reasons can vary. For instance, having been disappointed, abandoned, or feeling unsupported by close ones.
Eventually, asking for help becomes uncomfortable. Accepting help can also cause feelings of awkwardness or concern about disappointing others.
In fact, research published in Psychological Science indicates that asking for, receiving, and giving help to others is linked to greater happiness and better social connectedness.
Thus, if there is a woman who always says ‘I can do it myself’, it does not necessarily mean she does not need help. Perhaps she is just not used to feeling safe when depending on others.
Not Easily Trusting Others
Not Easily Trusting Others/Photo: Magnific
Trust does not always come easily, especially for someone who has experienced relationships that left them disappointed.
According to Darius Cikanavicius, a mental health coach, childhood experiences such as lack of love, protection, or attention from parents can be related to trust issues in adulthood.
Research findings from 1996 also support a connection between past experiences and a person’s trust patterns.
For women carrying many burdens, this vigilant attitude can be seen in everyday relationships. She may need more time before truly opening up.
It’s not because she intentionally keeps her distance. Perhaps past experiences have taught her that even the closest people can disappoint.
The problem is, finding it too difficult to trust others can also make new relationships feel exhausting. When constantly preparing for possible bad outcomes, a person can miss opportunities to feel safe with others.
Always Preparing for the Worst Case Scenario
Preparing for the Worst Case Scenario/Photo: Magnific
Do you have a friend who always carries an umbrella even when the sky is clear? Or someone who has already imagined ten bad possibilities before something actually happens?
If so, maybe they are the type of person who loves to be prepared. However, in some cases, the habit of always anticipating the worst can be related to difficult past experiences.
Psychotherapist Sharon Martin explains the concept of catastrophizing, which is the tendency to imagine or anticipate the worst-case scenario. This pattern can be related to trauma as well as mental health conditions such as anxiety.
A person who grew up without feeling sufficiently supported or protected may become accustomed to taking responsibility for themselves.
Eventually, vigilance becomes like an ‘automatic mode’. Before something happens, they have already thought of a way out. Before there is a problem, they have prepared for the worst.
From the outside, this attitude appears very prepared. However, being constantly in a state of alertness can also make a person find it difficult to truly relax.
The five behaviors above can indeed be found in people who have experienced difficult situations. However, one or two characteristics alone are not enough to conclude that a person has trauma.
So, if you find the traits of a woman who has been through many things in someone around you, perhaps what’s most needed is not judgment. Maybe she just needs a safe space to share and be herself.
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