It is important to realize that no parent is perfect. Even parents with high emotional intelligence and great love may make mistakes, and that’s normal; it doesn’t automatically label them as bad parents.
Nevertheless, emotionally intelligent parents keep learning to improve and try not to repeat the same mistakes. They are always there to support their children well.
Not only through actions, they pay attention to the words they speak to their children every day. They always utter positive and beneficial sentences to their children.
Citing Parade, there are several phrases that parents with emotional intelligence never say to their children. Even when their children have reached adulthood. What are those phrases? Let’s see!
“Ketika Aku Seusiamu…”
Image of parents and children / Photo: Magnific.com
Parents with emotional intelligence definitely have high empathy. They avoid making their children feel inferior or feel compared.
Even if two individuals share the same age range, their life experiences are never exactly the same because people, society, circumstances, and the world today differ from the past.
Therefore, they avoid saying the phrase, “When I was your age…” They do not compare their past with their child’s present. They focus on understanding their adult child’s experiences.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Francine Toder, PhD, advises parents to start listening, understanding, and accepting their children as they are.
“Kamu Seorang Pecundang”
Image of a child / Photo: Magnific.com
Another phrase emotionally intelligent parents avoid saying is “You’re a loser”.
Expressing disappointment to a child is not prohibited. However, it’s crucial for parents to consider the words they use, ensuring they are healthy and not harmful to the child.
Psychologist Dr. Brandy Smith, PhD, says it’s important to focus emotions on actions, not on attacking the child’s character. A wise example sentence could be, “Dad/Mom is disappointed because of your actions…” or “Yes, you just made a mistake. But let’s turn this into a valuable lesson to learn to get back up..”
“Tidak Bisakah Kamu Melakukan Ini Untukku?
Image of parents and children / Photo: Magnific.com/shurkin_son
Dr. Smith says that the phrase, “Can’t you do this for me?” is manipulative and burdensome.
Wanting your child’s support is normal, but it’s also important to respect their decisions and wishes. This is why discussion is key; for example, saying, “Dad/Mom hears you want to do that. We respect your choice, but if there’s a more convenient time for you, we can discuss it.”
Discussion will make both parties comfortable. An emotionally intelligent approach also involves respecting each other’s boundaries, not just focusing on the parent’s ego.
Thecuy, those are some phrases that emotionally intelligent parents never say to their adult children. What do you think?
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